I admit I like people who walk around with a chip on their shoulder. Right, wrong, or indifferent on what that chip is I appreciate what it brings out of that individual. Most of my life I've been told that very phrase. And most often I would deny it. As I get older and reflect back on the things that fueled me it has become almost obnoxiously clear that I did in fact walk around with a big ass chip.
I can't say I had a bad childhood. I was never denied anything. I never felt that I ever had to struggle for money or food. I lived a really well rounded childhood. Now where this chip came from I don't know. Napoleon complex? Maybe. I was the shortest boy in my class and had to deal with stupid medical issues that made everyone around me baby me and treat me "with care."
As I got older it moved to doubting what he can accomplish. Always being surrounded by my older cousins I always had someone watching my back. Nothing I ever did was fully mine. All my accomplishments and friendships I made seemed to be driven on the fact I had a family lineage of popularity and success before me. And lucky me...I must have just gotten some left overs.
Each stage of my life I've felt the need to prove myself in one facet or another. When I first started my career this supposed chip was so big I walked into my first job out of college like I own this place. Almost as if the job was beneath me. I moved up quickly and moved onto the next phase of my career. And building my reputation and name all over again was a new challenge with new obstacles.
I look back on all these particular times of my life and I sit and reflect on where it has gotten me today. And I can say with a clear and unbiased mind that for everyone who ever doubted me, anyone who ever thought I wasn't good enough, and anyone who ever thought that I was nothing more than a hot shot kid on the come up: I hate you all. I took that ball of hatred and channeled it as fuel to my success. Every stumble and every fall I took I know put smiles on your faces. It only made me want to get up that much quicker and hit you back that much harder.
See when I say I hate you I'm not sugarcoating this like "ooooh I hate you man!" Nah I legit have this evil resentful hatred towards everyone who couldn't see me for the man I am. Judge me? Tell me I don't measure up? Too blinded to see what I have to offer? Doubt that I can ever be a man, who is successful in this world, on his own two feet? To hell with all of you.
I can't say I had a bad childhood. I was never denied anything. I never felt that I ever had to struggle for money or food. I lived a really well rounded childhood. Now where this chip came from I don't know. Napoleon complex? Maybe. I was the shortest boy in my class and had to deal with stupid medical issues that made everyone around me baby me and treat me "with care."
As I got older it moved to doubting what he can accomplish. Always being surrounded by my older cousins I always had someone watching my back. Nothing I ever did was fully mine. All my accomplishments and friendships I made seemed to be driven on the fact I had a family lineage of popularity and success before me. And lucky me...I must have just gotten some left overs.
Each stage of my life I've felt the need to prove myself in one facet or another. When I first started my career this supposed chip was so big I walked into my first job out of college like I own this place. Almost as if the job was beneath me. I moved up quickly and moved onto the next phase of my career. And building my reputation and name all over again was a new challenge with new obstacles.
I look back on all these particular times of my life and I sit and reflect on where it has gotten me today. And I can say with a clear and unbiased mind that for everyone who ever doubted me, anyone who ever thought I wasn't good enough, and anyone who ever thought that I was nothing more than a hot shot kid on the come up: I hate you all. I took that ball of hatred and channeled it as fuel to my success. Every stumble and every fall I took I know put smiles on your faces. It only made me want to get up that much quicker and hit you back that much harder.
See when I say I hate you I'm not sugarcoating this like "ooooh I hate you man!" Nah I legit have this evil resentful hatred towards everyone who couldn't see me for the man I am. Judge me? Tell me I don't measure up? Too blinded to see what I have to offer? Doubt that I can ever be a man, who is successful in this world, on his own two feet? To hell with all of you.
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