RyE On Branding

The following excerpts are from GQ Magazines Article in the March 2010 issue entitled: "Meet the Happy New Me, Same as the Crappy Old Me"

"'COCA-COLA' said the account executive, "owns Happiness'" I was freelance copywriting for Satan at an Advertising Agency in New York City. I prefer writing fiction and occasional journalism but the Dark Lord pays well and there's free coffee on the twenty third floor. The downside is the whole spiritual-death/rotting-from-the-inside-out thing, but I do get a front row seat to the downfall of Western civilization.

"They own it?" I asked. She nodded. She seemed proud of Coca-Cola and proud of herself for being proud of them. "They've owned it," she added, "for a hundred years."

Branding, as this is known, has been around for some time now. By creating a positive "personality" for their products- youthful, happy, caring, hip-marketers don't have to worry about selling products on their merits. They new adolescent-targeting body sprays- Hung scent, or Throbbing, or whatever it is-aren't much different from any other overly perfumed delousing agent so they create a personality to which their intended consumer can relate - in this case a teenager so desperate and lonely that he's willing to believe a $3 can of spray will turn women into the insatiable, gag reflexless vixens from the violent pornography upon which he subsists.

If Starbucks sat down next to you at a bar and said "Hi, I sell sub par coffee from Third World nations to desperate Western conformists," you'd probably call for your check. But if Starbucks said, "Hi I donate a portion of my bottled water profits to helping children get clean water," you might buy Starbucks a drink. You might introduce Starbucks to your friends and tell them how cool he is. That's branding. It's not clever, but it works.

Me, I own Misery. The world gets to me, it just does. I know it shouldn't but Christ on a shitstick, what a fucking mess. Maybe they showed me too many Holocaust films when I was a kid. Maybe I've read too many blogs. Many it's just the result of working in advertising for ten years: I've seen too much, I know too much. I know what corporations think of your worse, I've seen you in focus groups, proving them right. I know they can prove, quantitatively, that balloons printed with the names of prescription drugs lead people to ask their doctors for those very same drugs. I know that putting the name of a laundry detergent on the hood of a race car that drives around in circles all Sunday afternoon predisposes people to buying that laundry detergent. I know too much. I'm in too deep. I need that Men in Black memory eraser thing on a rope beside the front door of my house so I can zap myself every night before going inside.

I'm miserable. I'm down. I'm unCoke.

The article continues to discuss how the author tries to change his "self brand." I've been doing a lot of things lately both in and out of work. But the consistent thing has always been branding. Starting my own organization has not been an easy task and branding it and giving it an identity has been even more challenging. The classes are going well and I'm learning everything I need to know about doing what I need to do to get this up and running in a year (despite my business model being rolled out in 2 years).

At my current job its all about branding and rebranding (cough Rethink Possible cough). I can relate to the article and I too wish I could erase everything I know because I can't look at anything anymore without seeing its marketing tools and strategies. It really is the devil. It has corrupted me and I can't change what I know.

As we go through evaluations they have implemented the whole "create your self brand." I'm so over that word it makes me sick. And yet (as I promised I would to everyone around me) I would give myself till Q1 and if nothing changed then I will change. And that I have. Since April I have been submitting my resume for several Brand Manager positions from ESPN, to Google (because they are taking over the world), to Heineken (heck maybe I can drink all day to get the creative juices flowing), to even Nike in Seattle. Why go for brand manager positions you ask? Well because I can't turn back the hands of time.

Truth be told everything about how you carry yourself, to how you talk, to the style of clothes you wear you create, subconsciously or not, a brand. There are things I purposely do because I know it will get my brand out there. I also know there are certain things I don't allow to be known so I can maintain my brand image.

And here's the moral of the story boys and girls. Having a brand that you can call your own is not a bad thing. You might call it an "identity." Where it can eat you up is if you try to let it consume you with every decision you make. There are going to be people out there who try and sway you to be one way or the other. Or question your decisions. Fuck them. Do you. And to say that your brand is finite is a lie. Just like other brands you might have to re-brand yourself and that's O-K. I'm sure you wouldn't say that the same person you were at 14 is the same person you are at 24. Or even 20 vs 30. Life alters your brand and you can't control everything about it.

I'm currently in a re-branding stage myself. Setting goals I've always wanted to accomplish. Putting myself in a situation where my worth is valued both monetary and respect wise. And as for professionally and personally I have eliminated those I see as nothing but value wasted or non value added assets in my life.

I have learned I cannot carry everyone's burden on my back. I can't be so loyal that I'm blind to the fact that I'm devaluing myself. I knew it was over when I was counting down the days for me to put myself back on the market. And when I did it was a humbling experience. But the experience also led me to realize I need that hunger back. The hunger to challenge myself and to prove myself all over again. Some would rather sit back and be complacent in their role. I can't do that. The minute I become unchallenged that's when I know it is time to turn the lights off and close the chapter on this book.

I've also distanced myself from people who needed me their entire life and it actually feels good. Don't get me wrong, I don't like that I'm doing this, because it hurts feelings of people I do genuinely care about, but it's best for everyone involved. With everything going on in my life I don't have the time anymore to deal with the same old songs. The whining and complaining. The nagging and the "I wish I could have this..or If I had a chance I would..." I hate talkers. As much as I can I try to not talk about what I want or what I am going to do. I just do. (sorry Nike...no cheap plugs for you!) Pussyfooting ain't gonna get you anywhere.

So with that said I look to a new brand. One that is more balanced, healthier, wiser, and one that brings back the fun and joy I had when life wasn't always so complicated. I look forward to the challenges that lie ahead. The wheels are in motion and it's only a matter of time when goodbyes are said and hello to a whole new set of people/things...till the next re-branding!