Editors Note: I mentioned in a few blogs back (RyEBlogs 4.8.10) that I would dispel a couple of things that I have gone through during some of the most private times of my life. They were private because well...I couldn't exactly be open about certain things due to the circumstances. So this will be my first mini series on this blog that I will title Two Years Gone. This is in no particular order during that time period but more thoughts and things I felt during that time. This piece is inspired by The Calm
I'm so far gone
November's Own
Please don't leave me alone
Drunk off stress screaming all alone
My family is my home
What the fuck is going on
Why did we go wrong
I feel like I don't belong
Caught up in this life and it's one I can't postpone
Meanin if it rains, I'm the one it's raining on
When the plan is moving on I still got nothing set in stone
Women come and by, yet nothing I can claim my own
And tell me don't be mad I promise that I won't
Feelin so distant from everyone I've known
To make everybody happy I think I need a clone
Compliments be thrown
Still nothing to be shown
I've done more for my people than they could have ever known
I am only twentysuntin yet look at how I'm grown
You can say I'm in the zone
I call this shit the calm, yeah
But I'm the furthest thing from calm
Dedicate this to my mom and I swear my word is bond
Everything will be ok and it won't even take that long
You can see it in my face or even read it on my palm
Destined to lead its proven and it's known
Can't sit idle even if I got the throne
I know you like to worry but it'll be better if you don't cause...
Everything will be alright...I apologize for venting like this...you probably wishing it was a little more straight forward but..you know.. gotta take it how you get sometimes..roll with the punches..and um yea so uh
And life is so insane
Look what I've became
Tryna make a name
Yet I don't know if I want the fame
Because every picture taken is something to explain
Whose the girl you datin and can I get her name?
It's a curse you gotta live with when you are critically acclaimed
I am not here to entertain when my privacy is all I try to retain
Nosey people got nothing better than to complain
And to my two year relationship you are the ones to blame
Not taking anything off myself I wish we knew just how heavy this really weighed
It's a weight that's on my chest whoever said it could be the same
So I'm liftin all alone try not to get a sprain
New chick old chick give dirty exchange
Cause I moved on, got me feeling all guilty & ashamed
Like how I got to this was all pre-arranged
And I'm payin for my sins with some dollars and some change
Damn if you could only feel my pain
Cause my positive ability to keep everything in+sane
Is making me head back to the pharmacy once again
They say they love me but I hope it's not in vain
Carolina's heart is all up and restrained
Call her heartbreak ugh she the hardest one to tame
As a man I'm just honest
To my name I am a King
With a million and one problems still sitting on my brain
Yet you won't see a thang no I act like it ain't a thang
Hold my head up high yea and see this is the thing
What they view as bragging is the way that I maintain
It's the single reason I remain...me
I call this shit the calm...but I'm the furthest thing from calm
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