RyE On Publicly Private

I got a problem.

I'm a walking oxymoron. A hypocrite even. A flawed perfectionist. A loyal rebel. An honest liar. I'm a pragmatic contradiction. I can tell you to not go out and be stupid getting involved with underage drinking and experimenting with drugs but I would be a hypocrite to say I didn't try them. I hate being told what to do but I am loyal to a fault that if you ever need me I will blindly support you. An honest liar I can tell you I'm fine when my whole world is coming down. All these things I am and make me who I am. Hey I never said I was the easiest person to get to know but I'll tell you I'm one of realest ones out there. The only problem is you may never get that opportunity. You see I'm all the things I said above but most importantly I'm publicly private.

See I started this blog in order to write out my feelings. A way of venting yet I still make everything so vague. I do it on purpose and sometimes juuuust sometimes I let you into my world. I've been this way with every type of social networking site or blog like site that I happened to sign up to ever since I became a "professional."

Back in the day I use to have myspace and facebook and xanga and my life would be out there for everyone to see. Then I started working and building a career I never wanted anyone in my professional life to know about my private life. (I don't like to mix my drinks so to speak) So slowly but surely I started to hide this and not say that. I use to put ambiguous photos where my face could not be seen. Yes, slowly but surely I made it pointless to have a public forum if I'm going to censor everything I put on it.

This just so happens to be the last thing standing. Sure I have photo websites of my life chronicled but only a select few know it. And honestly that's just a database for me to enjoy when my computer one day crashes and I lose all my photos I know it's backed up somewhere.

I'm going to try and be as honest as I can but I still hold true to my privacy. I don't want everyone to associate my life to this blog only for them to turn around and say "I GOT YOU FIGURED OUT." No you see I'm much more complex than that ( see RyEBlogs 10.5). I also don't need to tell the world everything I say with the people I love or record every moment that passes in my life.

If you ask anyone of my peers they all know who I am without knowing everything about me. You don't believe me? Well try going back into this blog and see my other posts and try and tell me what you can decipher. I'm going to branch out and open the world to this blog. I'm scared of how it will turn out but then again I may find out some amazing new things.

An insightful mind recommended I join this 20SB networking blog site. Being that I'm still in my 20's I figured I'd give it a shot. I read the "rules" and immediately started to say No. Nope. Yea right. Not going to happen. (Editors note: Don't forget I'm a rebel)

Mainly rule # 2:

Update your Profile. Members without Profile Pictures and vague Profile Info will always have a tough time getting acquainted. Tell us about yourself!

I laughed when I read that and the inner rebel in me said fuck you I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. If you want to create guidelines to how I am to write my life on this you got to be kidding. I mean who are you to tell me what to put up and if not I will be kicked off? The RYE tendency was to say I'm going to do it on my terms and under my conditions. I fumed and thought about that for all of 2 seconds. But I also thought about my goal in wanting to branch out this piece to a bigger audience. And I thought about what this poking mind would tell me to do which is just...keep an open mind. Sad I was defeated by her sheer thought in my own mind (smh).

With that vicious back and forth in my head for 5 minutes I decided to give it a shot. I'll sign up and see if I "make the cut."

I got a lot of confessions to spill and I need to get off my chest the last 2 1/2 years I like to dub "The lost years." How funny I'm about to be publicly traded and in the mood to spill some of the most controversial thoughts I ever had....

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