RyE On Leaving it in God's Hands

Everybody made it through the rapture? Yes? No? Maybe? Well...for better or for worse I'm still here and so if these are the last few months I'm going to rock it out till the wheels fall off. Funny actually that this whole rapture nonsense came into place because I was actually thinking of spewing my thoughts on certain things that I've been somewhat of a loss for.

If you haven't learned by now I'm a planner. I'm an organized type A personality planner. That means I like to know what I'm doing, when I'm doing it, and managing my time efficiently. I find it irritating, get frustrated, find it annoying,  hate, DESPISE indecisiveness and indecisive people. They really irk me and make it unbearable for me to ever want to do anything with them. The only problem is I have a lot of friends and family who fall in that category. It's whatever. I've been dealing with things like this my whole life and really I don't see this changing. We are who we are.

Another thing I can't wrap my brain around is my inability to just let go. You know when your younger and your mom or dad tell you not to touch the stove because its hot? I mean clearly you see the flames...you know that heat = pain yet there's still that burning desire to want to touch it? What? No? Only me? (damn) Well anyway....sometimes I know my brain is right. That certain things are better left unsaid, and things are better left alone, and I shouldn't keep doing certain things yet my heart, my soul, and everything about me says "fuck it" and does it anyway. (see What's the Story Morning Glory?) I'm an emotionally vested individual. I just go on what I feel even if it's against my better judgment. And sometimes in the end it probably will hurt even more not listening to my brain but I can't stop it.

So I guess the point I'm trying to make is that for as much of a planner as I'd like to be...for as smart as I know I am...I still have to leave a few things to a higher power. God, Buddah, Allah, Yoda...whomever it may be I'm leaving the bigger things in my life up to (in my case) God. I stress out too much when I over think. And I stress out when things don't go a particular way that I had hoped or imagined it to go. It leaves me bitter, angry, and down right nasty at times. So while I may not like planning with you indecisive people, and while I know I probably shouldn't be doing the things I'm doing, or saying the things I'm saying with you folks, whatever happens as a result of all that? I'm leaving in God's hands.

God I hope I'm right