RyE On So You Want to Date a B! (The Dress)

When this portion of my blog turns into a best seller I doubt this will be in the first chapter. No no..probably later in the book or maybe in the second edition. But while it is still fresh in my head I may as well teach this lesson.

This lesson is entitled the Dress

I never understand the dichotomy of a fashion minded woman. Don't get me wrong. I want my woman fashion forward and to be sexy and sophisticated in how she presents herself. All my women must be strong in order to be with me and therefore looking the part is half the battle. But all the rules and stipulations on what you can and cannot wear...how many times you can wear it....and all that x's and o's is like drawing up a football play. It's a little too complicated.

So let me break down the situation. I was attending a college friend of mines wedding this past weekend and my date was (in my opinion) over analyzing what to wear for the wedding. Me? I just had to get a suit and boom done. The most thinking I would have is what shirt and tie combo to go with it (which I picked out the morning of....um with her help).

But weeks leading up to the wedding my date couldn't find a dress to wear despite having a closet FILLED with beautiful dresses that I am sure would have been just right for the occasion. However, to my knowledge...you women just cannot wear the same dress twice! (sooooo why buy it???)

The week of the wedding was approaching and my date still had not picked out a dress. She was close! She picked a dress then realized...she was going to wear it to work.......(deep sigh). So she goes on this website "rent the runway" (cheap plug) where she starts sending me dresses to approve for the wedding. After several...several....SEVERAL.....dresses we finally settle on a top three. One of the dresses in particular we BOTH fell in love with.

The dresses came in the night prior to the wedding date. All was working out till....I get this

 

At first I was like (draw dropped) she looked gorgeous and radiant in the dress. Then I looked at it again and noticed....that is a LOT whiter than what we saw on the website which described the dress as GOLD. So not wanting to panic I simply thought maybe it was the phone camera she was using that made it look off white. This led to a series of massive texts to ANYONE I knew who would give me their opinion.

The responses came in:

• Off white
• Cream like
• White
• White with a tint of Gold
• "You can't wear that to a wedding unless you're the Bride"

(DEEP DEEP SIGH)

Now as a man you have to know when and where to disclose information to a woman about how they look...how they dress...and what is and is not appropriate when they are looking for you to give them some advice. In this case? Yea I was NOT about to have her panic even more about this dress.

So naturally I tried to keep these responses to myself and reassure her that everything was going to be AAAAA-OK even though deep down inside I was thinking to myself SHIT! FUCK! WHYYYY??!? =)

It is bad enough she knows NO ONE at the wedding except me and the last thing I needed was a date who wore a faux pas wedding dress. Still I figured it was best to just go with the flow and if she wore the dress we will ride out together in it. (even if it did have us getting side eyes and getting kicked out the wedding)

The next morning she came (an hour and a half later but that will be for another story and another lesson). To my surprise she had bought another dress that morning to wear. She tried on all the dresses again and in person she looked even more beautiful than any camera could ever capture. The dress we both fell in love with looked amazing and in truth it was a gold dress but in the wrong lighting could easily be mistaken as an off white color. And sadly we went with another dress. The dress she had bought that morning.

What I learned from this experience is that when you put a woman in a situation where they are going to be in unfamiliar territory and you are the only link they have... it is necessary that they feel comfortable in whatever sense of grounding they can attach themselves to. In this case the dress was that comfort zone. She may not have known anyone going into this wedding, and may not know how fancy of a wedding it was going to be but as long as she felt comfortable with the dress and she knew I was comfortable with her in it than that's all that mattered.

I thought at first all this was over reacting and silly but fella's you have to realize that as much as you may think your date is over reacting to how she looks, it is the one thing she has control over. Giving her grief over what she wears will do you no favors. And when she is asking for your opinion on a dress it is because she wants to look good not only for herself but for YOU. She is trying to impress people for YOU because they matter to YOU. So don't roll your eyes or feel like its a chore when going dress hunting with your woman. At the end of the day shes thinking about you more than she is herself. I'm lucky enough to have brought someone who cared enough for me to do just that. And truth be told....it didn't matter to me what dress she wore because she looked beautiful in every single one. But even if she wore that amazing white/off white/cream like/gold shimmery dress....and the wedding decided to chase us out with pitch forks and burning stakes.....I think it would be all worth it just to see her in that dress for one moment in time.